One of the big questions for pastors is when we find time to worship for ourselves. I know that when I was in seminary I was participating in up to six services a week, but usually at all but one of them I was either taking part in leading the service or I was responsible for working the sound board. Unfortunately it is very easy to get caught up in the "work" that needs to be done that it is impossible to truly worship. I want to exmaine whether it is really possible for a pastor to worship when they are the leader of the service.
First I will look at what it means to worship. To me the heart of the matter lies in surrender in worship. Worship to me is about surrendering one's self to God. True worship happens when we let go of who we are, what we want, and instead focus entirely on God. When we can get rid of the distractions of our own self-interest I think we can enter into a true spirit of worship.
This can sound simple enough, but I think it can seem that the duties of a pastor run counter to this. A leader in worship is expected to be faciliating worship for others. If worship is about getting rid of the distractions, than clearly the role of the worship leader is about making the service as smooth as possible, so that no one is jarred from their experience by hitches in the flow.
I know that when I am preaching I am guilty of thinking ahead to what I am going to say later when the opening songs are being sung. It is easy to be worrying about, focusing on, providing last minute touches to the next part of the service rather than losing myself in the moment. The question I have is whether this is avoidable. Certainly, if I were "more" prepared for my sermon, or "more" confident about it, then I pressumably I would not be as worried about it during the rest of the worship service. I say "more" because while certainly could be more prepared, I use the quotes to denote I am not sure that the more needed to not stress about the sermon is actually obtainable, since no matter how often we say it, you cannot always just try harder to get the results you seek.
I want to be able to worship with my congregation. I want to be able to get to that point of surrender. The typical belief, and one that I subscribe to, is that it is not technical perfection, but the soul, the spirit, that makes art beautiful. I think the same is true in worship. It is not whether things are perfect, but whether the heart truly is in the love expressed to God. "I love you" is meaningless as a collection of words, if it does represent the feelings of the heart. I think a pastor cannot forget this fact. What makes truly powerful is if the surrender is obvious in the musicians, the pastor, in the models the congregation looks to. I do not know that a pastor can be complete emersed in worship, the distractions, the demands are clearly present that prohibt some level of surrender. I think that if pastors can reach that level of surrender then we are better leaders of worship than if we have everything technical perfect, and all our transitions are seemless and our prayers perfect. It may be hardest for us, but I think the need is there for pastors to join in true worship with their congregations, to surrender in worship to God.
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2 comments:
I think this is an interesting topic you bring up. Not that I am in any position to do so, but philosophically I completely agree with your ideal. That said, as someone who is constantly in front of others, I wonder how obtainable it is. When I am teaching it is hard to stay in that moment. Certainly when you're working one on one it's more doable, but when you're doing whole class instruction staying in that moment and not thinking about what is going to happen in 2 minutes, or 10 minutes, is hard. And that's something I get to practice everyday 5 days a week. I hope you find more success at your endeavor than I have had in mine.
I find your point about the need for pastors to set an example of surrender in worship food for thought. Certainly if a pastor's role is to lead their congregation, than leading by example is a good way to do this. I agree that this can be very difficult if not impossible. Another reason for finding surrender in worship is that pastors also need to find a way to rejuvenate themselves for the work. I found when I was working as a camp counselor and leading worship regularly that it was difficult to get the worship time I felt I needed. Now I assume that pastors find other times and ways to spend time with God, but I think there is something missing if one can't occasionally let go when worshipping with others. Which I suppose is yet another challenge of the life of a pastor.
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