The tight-rope of minsitry

Today I have been thinking about the challenges of being a young adult in ministry, particularly a doing ministry to other young adults. A while ago a friend of mine called me out for being too pastoral and there certainly is a challenge in my friendships of tending to be come pastoral, which changes the nature of the relationship, since then I am suddenly acting more like a wise adviser than someone who is equal to them. My fondest memories of college and even of seminary were the conversations I had with people about their faith. Often they were late at night, quiet moments, when people would share with me something of what they believed, or even something they struggled with. I love people's faith stories, I love to hear them, I love to share in them, and I love to help people explore them more deeply. Part of my passion for doing ministry to young adults is I believe there are other people out there who have similar struggles to the people I knew in college and I want to help them with their faiths. Where this is all going I think is just realizing how easy it is to blur the line between being a friend to someone and being a pastor to them. As I think about meeting young adults in my area, do I seem them as potential church members or potential friends? The debate constantly rages as to whether one can be both. I know from my own experiences that is hard to separate the two but that it also hard to be a real friend to someone if you are their pastor and hard to pastor a friend without it changing the nature of that relationship also.

I don't have answers to all of this ... but the issue weighs on my mind today. If anyone has insights into the tension between friend and pastor, I would love for you to share here.

Thanks,
Jeff